This year, my New Year’s resolution is to………… How many times have you said this to yourself, to someone else? What is it about New Year’s resolutions? Why is it that we need to put this exorbitant amount of pressure on ourselves to make a change that we have not been able to make for 365 straight days in a row? Is it the excitement that the possibility of change gives us? Is the hope that perhaps this time, it will be different? What is the definition of insanity again……oh yes, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Yep – that sounds familiar. New Year’s resolutions – in my book a complete set up for yet another reason to scrutinize, punish and provide additional lines to the negative self-talk script so many already have going on in their heads.
The truth is, that there are some who make resolutions and do in fact stick to them – to these I say “CONGRATULATIONS” but you are the minority. Many who make resolutions to change the negative behaviors or actions or habits that have been causing anxiety or stress in their lives more than likely lack to the skills to do so or perhaps they would have prior to December 31st . How many do you know say “this year I will quit smoking”… “…Lose weight”…”exercise more”….”work less”…..”Work more”….”be kinder”….etc etc….. Is it fair to do this to yourself? Is there possibly another reason why you have not made these changes up until now? What would it be like to make a daily resolution to yourself? What would it be like to begin each day with a commitment to be a better person to both yourself and others? What would it be like to relieve yourself of the pressure to be “perfect’ in your resolution? What would it be like to give yourself the opportunity to make a change each day rather than a black and white commitment that can be undone in a moment? In the program of Alcoholics Anonymous there is Step 10 – a step that suggest a ‘continuous moral inventory” be taken each night – a chance to look at the actions and reactions for that one day and make a decision to change the things that you would have liked to do differently. This Step is not only beneficial to the alcoholic – this is a tool that can help anyone.
The hope that a new year can bring is what we all search for – new beginnings equal new chances, they provide us with an opportunity to be different, to be whom we wish we already were. This hope can keep us going at times, the problem is, it can shatter us just as quickly. What does it mean if we “fail” at a resolution? Are we failures? Do we throw in the towel completely? I say no – change is possible every day of the year, every moment of the day, every minute of an hour, and every second in minute. Give yourself a gift this New Year’s Eve and make a resolution to be a person who changes whenever he or she decides it is time to.
